"Really?"
I have been guilty of having high expectations of my friends, family, and coworker, to the point of being unrealistic. When reality presents itself through others unfairly expected "shortcomings", I tend to be a little too judgmental, disappointed, and sometimes surprised when my unrealistic expectations are not met. In Henri Nouwen's book "Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life" The second movement: From Hostility to Hospitality, Nouwen suggests being grounded in reality, and knowing our own patterns "can be recognized by anyone who is striving to live a life in the Spirit of Jesus Christ". I WANT to accept those people in my life just as they are, but my personal history and experience keeps creeping into my thought process. Looking back, most of the times that I've been "hurt by others", I realize now that it was because of my own preconceived ideas of what should happen, while the scope of reality for that person did not include room for my delusional expectations.
I borrowed the following from "The Daily OM" http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2/2012/32560.html
"Disillusionment can plague your relationships today if the standards and expectations you hold your loved ones to are unreasonable. Putting individuals and your relationships on a pedestal can bring you heartbreak as people’s natural flaws interfere with your dreams of perfection. You can ease the disappointment you may feel and divest yourself of cynicism by accepting that no one is perfect. The truth of humanity’s fallibility can help you avoid being unduly affected by the flaws you see in your family, friends, and colleagues. You may find it becomes easier to concentrate on the goodness in the people around you today when your expectations are reasonable. When you see people making mistakes, you’ll likely feel more comfortable overlooking their errors and forgiving them.
When you are tolerant of flaws in others, you will judge your relationships realistically and thus appreciate the good in people rather than reflecting on the bad. Unrealistic expectations can make relating to others difficult because they set impossible standards and force us to focus on the negative aspects of the individuals around us. It becomes vastly easier to look at other beings as complete entities when you accept that no one is perfect and that everyone will make mistakes from time to time. You won’t experience a rude awakening when loved ones don’t fulfill your expectations. You’ll judge others based on the whole of their character rather than on a chance word or deed. You’ll be able to focus on the goodness in others today when you accept that everyone has flaws."
When you are tolerant of flaws in others, you will judge your relationships realistically and thus appreciate the good in people rather than reflecting on the bad. Unrealistic expectations can make relating to others difficult because they set impossible standards and force us to focus on the negative aspects of the individuals around us. It becomes vastly easier to look at other beings as complete entities when you accept that no one is perfect and that everyone will make mistakes from time to time. You won’t experience a rude awakening when loved ones don’t fulfill your expectations. You’ll judge others based on the whole of their character rather than on a chance word or deed. You’ll be able to focus on the goodness in others today when you accept that everyone has flaws."
Forgive quickly, ask for forgiveness without expectation, and always remember the most important instruction from Christ.
"Jesus replied, “The most important one is Israel, listen! Our God is the one Lord, 30 and you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your being, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this, You will love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these." ~ Mark 12:29-31 (CEB)
Peace and Grace!
Scott
Events:
WNA Night at the Movies this week will be "The Ten Commandments" Dr. Long will be using passages from this classic to illustrate a Lenten lesson. Apricot Chicken, Wild Rice, Asparagus, Rolls, Salad and Dessert is served beginning at 5:15, with the program beginning at 6:30
Singles Invitation.
The Good Egg Dining Group (Cheevers, Republic Gastropub etc.) is holding a Chef's Dinner on Monday, March 19th at 6:30 pm, at Red Primesteak, 504 North Broadway. Seating is limited; please RSVP as soon as possible if you would like to attend. Tickets are $110, and benefit "Positive Tomorrows"
Rev. Scott Raines
Pastor of Singles Ministry
St. Luke's UMC
222 NW 15th St.
Oklahoma City, OK 73103
Church 405-609-1009
Cell 512-554-1661
sraines@stlukesokc.org
Susan Koopman
Singles Missions/Outreach Coordinator
Cell 405-202-9909
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